Online Dating Red Flags and How to Spot Them
How to Spot Online Dating Red Flags
Online dating has become one of the most popular ways to meet people, whether you’re looking for a serious relationship or casual connection. With so many platforms and apps available, it’s never been easier to connect with singles in your area or even across the globe. However, with convenience comes risk. Understanding the red flags in online dating can protect your emotional wellbeing, your time, and even your safety.
Let’s talk about the most common online dating red flags and how to spot them early. Whether you’re new to online dating or a seasoned swiper, we will help you identify warning signs and make better, safer choices in the digital dating world.
Online Dating and Scams: Key Statistics
- According to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), Americans lost over $1.3 billion to romance scams in 2023 alone.
- The average individual loss from a romance scam is $4,400.
- People aged 40–69 are most frequently targeted, but those over 70 suffer the highest losses.
- Most scams start on social media or dating apps, and escalate quickly to off-platform communication.
Understanding these numbers helps emphasize just how important it is to stay alert while dating online.
1. Inconsistent or Vague Communication
One of the first red flags in online dating is inconsistent or vague communication. If someone:
- Responds only sporadically
- Avoids direct questions
- Keeps conversations superficial for too long
…they might not be seriously interested or may be hiding something. While everyone has busy days, a consistent pattern of dodging meaningful dialogue is a warning sign.
What to do: Try to steer the conversation to more specific topics. If they continue to evade or ghost, move on. Don’t waste time on someone that does not want to invest their time on you.
2. Refuses to Video Chat
In a world where video calls are one click away, refusing to video chat is a huge red flag. This could mean the person is using fake photos or isn’t who they say they are.
Red flag examples:
- “My camera’s broken.”
- “I’m not comfortable on video.”
- “Let’s meet someday soon” but never commits.
What to do: Suggest a quick five-minute video chat early in the conversation. If they continually make excuses, consider it a strong indicator of dishonesty.
3. Their Profile Seems Too Good to Be True
If someone’s photos look like they’re from a magazine and their bio sounds like a dream, proceed with caution. Scammers often use stolen photos and too-perfect profiles to lure unsuspecting users.
Signs to watch for:
- Overly professional photos
- No personal details or vague career descriptions
- A story that reads like a romance novel
What to do: Reverse image search their photos and ask questions that require specific, personal answers.
4. They Move Too Fast Emotionally
Declaring love, calling you “baby” or “soulmate” after a few chats, or pushing for a relationship early on is a common tactic used by scammers and emotionally manipulative people.
Why it’s a red flag:
- It bypasses natural relationship development
- It’s used to create emotional dependence
- Often leads to requests for money or help
What to do: Slow down. Keep boundaries clear and don’t let flattery cloud your judgment.
5. They Ask for Money or Help
This is the ultimate red flag. Scammers often build emotional connections before asking for financial help, often with elaborate stories involving emergencies, travel, or family needs.
Common scams include:
- “I lost my wallet and need help.”
- “I need money to visit you.”
- “My family is sick, and I need help with medical bills.”
What to do: Never send money to someone you’ve never met in real life. Report the profile immediately.
6. They Avoid Meeting in Person
Someone who constantly dodges plans to meet in person is likely not who they claim to be. Long-distance relationships can be real, but after weeks or months, they should be open to scheduling a visit.
Avoidance signs:
- Last-minute cancellations
- Excuses about work, illness, or personal issues
- Suggests meeting “someday” without commitment
What to do: Set a clear plan to meet. If they delay repeatedly, walk away.
7. Their Social Media Doesn’t Match Up
If someone gives you their Instagram or Facebook but it doesn’t align with what they’ve told you, or their accounts are oddly empty, that’s cause for concern.
Red flags to look for:
- Few friends or followers
- No tagged photos or real interactions
- Inconsistent names or locations
What to do: Cross-check their dating profile info with their social accounts. If things don’t add up, trust your gut.
8. They Guilt or Pressure You
Guilt-tripping, emotional manipulation, or pressure tactics are huge red flags in any relationship—especially online. These behaviors are meant to lower your boundaries and control the interaction.
Watch out for:
- “You don’t care about me if you won’t do this.”
- “I thought you were different.”
- “You’re just like everyone else.”
What to do: Step back. Healthy connections respect boundaries and grow at a natural pace.
9. They Avoid Personal Topics
If someone talks endlessly about you but reveals little about themselves, they might be trying to keep you emotionally engaged without being genuine.
Common behaviors:
- Changes the subject when asked personal questions
- Provides vague or inconsistent backstories
- Avoids sharing photos with family or friends
What to do: Ask questions and observe their answers over time. If they’re not opening up, there’s likely a reason.
10. You Just Have a Bad Feeling
Sometimes, your instincts are your best defense. If something feels off—even if you can’t quite explain it—don’t ignore that feeling.
Trust your gut if:
- You feel uneasy after chatting with them
- You notice small lies or contradictions
- Their behavior seems controlling, rushed, or too polished
What to do: Take a step back, reflect, and talk it through with a trusted friend. If doubt remains, it’s best to move on.
Red Flag vs. Green Flag Comparison Table
| Red Flag Behavior | Healthy Alternative |
|---|---|
| Refuses to video chat | Willing to do a quick video call |
| Pushes for commitment immediately | Respects your pace and boundaries |
| Avoids answering personal questions | Shares relevant personal information |
| Asks for financial help | Never asks for money or favors |
| Guilt-trips or manipulates you | Supports open, respectful dialogue |
Quick Exit Scripts for Online Dating
Not sure how to end a conversation that feels off? Here are some polite but clear scripts:
- “Thanks for the chat, but I don’t think we’re a match. Wishing you all the best.”
- “I’m not comfortable continuing this conversation. Take care.”
- “This doesn’t feel right to me, so I’m going to end the conversation here.”
- “I’m looking for something different. Hope you find what you’re looking for!”
These scripts help you set firm boundaries without confrontation.
Stay Smart, Stay Safe
Online dating can absolutely lead to amazing, meaningful relationships. But being aware of red flags can help you avoid heartache, scams, and wasted time. If someone isn’t respectful, honest, and willing to build trust at a natural pace, they’re not worth your energy.
Always prioritize your safety, trust your instincts, and don’t be afraid to hit “block” when something doesn’t feel right. The right person will respect your pace, your values, and your boundaries.
For more tips on dating and meeting local singles, visit our blog.
